Friday, April 29, 2005


altho im having trouble wif my keyboard.. ill try my best to blog.. i had to use both keyboard n the on-screen keyboard for the letters that i cant press on the keyboard itself..

ok now abt the topic.. i tink most of us wants the abitlity to become invincible.. by using spells, magics, cloaks n all.. sometimes come to think of it being invincible is so much fun.. for guys especially.. u get wat i mean..

but the topic was not meant to be the ability to become invincible but feeling invincible itself.. or being the shadow of others.. there's a malay saying goes like "bagai melukut di tepi gantang ada tak menambah, tak ada tak mengurangi".. im sori i cant transalate it into english.. but the meaning is with or without him/her ard it's still the same..

the inspiration where i got to rite abt this topic is when i watched "Kids United" on kids central.. it's abt nelson(the lil bro) whose elder brother(benson) went for a trip to Penang.. his parents were like not noticing the presence of nelson.. even his frens.. it's been always benson this benson that.. n yeah.. for ur info that's how i feel..

eventho my late bro is no more here in this werld but he's always the one ppl look up to.. it's always "if abg were here he wld do this n that" and all kinds of stuffs.. im juz his shadow.. without him im nobody in this family... that's y im not always home.. coz when im home i seems invincible.. i do know dat my parents care for me but it's different.. furthermore i got two sisters who needs more attention.. i know they are still young but cant my parents juz give me the same attention i needed???

like juz now... wif a furious voice my mom woke me up for my suboh prayers.. but when it come to my sisters her voice will change.. to a more loving voice.. y cant she do the same to me?? coz im older?? coz im stubborn? n yeah when she's off to werk.. cant she at least says bye to me? instead she scolded me bcoz i ACCIDENTLY slammed the door.. haiz.. n then wif this going on she still got the cheek to say that we seldom have any conversation.. i would like to ask how?? she's mad in sight of me.. am i the one who always makes mistakes?? im only human for god's sake..

then my dad... his jokes his laffter was all abt me.. yep.. i get insulted by my own father most of the times.. who wont take it to heart if the insult came from his own flesh n blood?? i donno wat more to type.. rite now im juz feeling invincible...

fyi, im not here to talk bad abt my parents.. maybe im the one who is not a gd son.. so plz dont blame them.. im juz typing out wat i feel.. coz it's the only place i can type all the content in my mind...

im sori...

Posted by Fr3aK[A]z0iD at 4:32 PM

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