Sunday, March 12, 2006

18 March

yep that's the day.. when i lost my grandma.. n it will be next week.. next week will be a year living without my grandma.. 2 years plus without my bro.. haiz.. a fren blogged abt how she missed my bro so much.. and i truly understand how she felt..

go read last year's march archive.. u will know wat happen on that day.. let me tell u the whole story on wat had happen..

on the 17th of march 2005.. early in the morning..a rd 5 am when my mom is heading to werk.. she woke me up to off the computer.. as im downloading i just off the monitor n went back to sleep.. then my mom woke me up again.. and that tym really pissed me off but the reason y she woke me up shock me.. she said my grandma was sick.. so i tot it was a normal sickness that old ppl get..

i went to my grandma's room.. i was shocked to see my grandma's condition.. she was lying face down on the floor.. with sometink oozing out off her mouth.. im really scared and my mom got really panicked and even forgot the ambulance number.. i was like shouting to make her to sense like "995 lah!! ape ibu ni.. relek leh tak??".. i was by her(grandma) side while waiting for the paramedics to arrive.. i try to be strong and not shed any tears so that my mom will be abit calm..

when the ambulance came.. they took her away and my mom followed the van.. to TTSH.. then my sis and aunt went there as well.. as for me.. i got to wait for my dad who's werking.. then we went str8 to TTSH.. that's the place where i get the most shocking news that i broke into tears..

the news is.. one of the artery in grandma's brain burst.. and they are doing the surgery.. it was hours b4 i get to see my grandma.. but i broke into tears once again to see her condition.. she was like a blown balloon.. really.. and there was a bandage on her head.. after a few hours.. the doctor said they need to scan my grandma's brain to see wat when wrong..

a few hours later the doctor call up few close members of the family to a so called meeting room.. i was dragged by my dad to go in and hear the news.. so the news go like dis... "ok i hope u guys are ready to hear wat im going to say.. while we was scanning her brain.. another artery burst in front of our eyes so the patient was send to operation theather for an immediate surgery.." my eyes nearly pop-out.. my ears nearly bleed hearing that news..

as u know.. there will be some stoopid relatives who will ask "will she be orite?" stoopid rite!!! then after the operation my grandma was.. argh.. wires all connected to her.. like.. a living machine.. then another stoopid relative ask the doktor "when can she be discharged?" that really pissed me off and i walked out of the ward and sit alone.. yes.. trying to be strong.. and pray for the best..

then my parents was called up by the doctor and i was dragged again.. here's another conversation:

dad: so how is her condition doctor?

doktor: now she's relying on that machine to stay alive.. and im asking u here is to make a decision..

by that tym i was out of the room.. i cant bear to hear wat's the choices are.. then my parents went out.. and had a talk with everybody..

dad: assalamualaikum.. saya harap sume dpt bertenang.. skrg.. doktor ckp mak dah tkde harapan sembuh.. dan.. aper yg saudara2 lihat di dalam.. itulah yg menghidupkan mak.. tapi.. mak yg ada yg kiter lihat tu.. sebenarnya dah takde.. yg ada hanya badan die jer.. kosong.. tapi masih hidup.. jadi.. skrg.. saya telah buat keputusan.. utk.. berhentikan ubat2 yg dorg beri dari mesin2 tu.. dan biarlah mak pergi..

argh! that's the moment where i want to be by my grandma's side at all times.. she was pronounced dead on the 18th of march.. morning.. cant remember the tym.. from that day on.. i know.. i will have to be strong.. ive lost those very dear to me..

i miss them.. really.. i do.. i pray to Allah.. that their soul will be blessed by Him.. *amin*

Posted by Fr3aK[A]z0iD at 1:57 AM

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