Monday, April 10, 2006

Boys N Girls

Ok guys, LISTEN. There are many girls on earth, of different shapes, sizes, of different characters and ways. Basically, all girls are different. However, in terms of preference, there are many things they like that are the same. So, you need to know what to do and what to avoid. Here's a list:

1. Ego!
Oh my god! Guys, I know sometimes, you feel the need to express your manly side and you want to put your foot down. If you need to do it, please do it without the ego! If you're wrong, mengaku je lah! You know how it is: girls usually tend to be right. But even if we are not, there's still no need to be so insensitive about it. And yea, cakap lah sorry kalau dah buat salah tu. Jangan nak step menyotong je, abih dah gitu, tunggu pompuan minta maaf lagik! No, no, no…tak serrr ah gitu.

2. Seeking Attention.
Sometimes, I just don't get why some guys love to do this; carik attention to attract girls. Kenape ah? Nanti, for no reason, kat tengah-tengah dunia, ade je lah budak-budak memekak lah, lari-lari lah, ketawa terbahak-bahak lah. EH! Ape ni???? Lari tau pompuan! Girls do not like it when you go out of your way to try to get their attention! Notice how the quiet guy always gets the chicks in the movies? Same thing! So, if you have been doing this, STOP! If not, well, good for you, but hey…that doesn't mean you should just keep a distance from everyone. If you are that kind who just loves to show everyone a good time, carry on!

3. Bragging.
This is definitely the ultimatum. Banyak-banyak bende, ni lah yang paling rabaaaak! Lelaki yang suke brag! Fuyo! “Aku hot, aku kaya, every girl wants me, aku dream guy semua perempuan kat dunia ni!” Waaaa! Ok ah, maybe tak gitu nye over ah, but close enough. Eh, boleh meluat tau dengar orang bebual macam ni! If you have it, ok, fine. Tapi takmo lah over sangat kan . Bebuallah pasal kumbang terbang ke, ikan berenang ke, anything ah! Just don't get too caught up with yourself!

4. Be Unconventional.
“Ape maksud kau ‘be unconventional'?” Ok, what I mean is, do things that are out of the ordinary. For example, selalunye lelaki belikan sejambak bunga untuk girlfriend, awak lak jangan belikan rose, belikan kereta ke…haha! Ok…tak macam gitu sekali lah…but you get my drift. Girls like to expect the unexpected. Diorang kate je: “Oh! Nevermind…I like anything you do for me…” tapi dalam hati, “Alamak! Jangan common sangat ah, I want something lain daripada lain!” This way, they can go on and tell all their friends how wonderful their boyfriends or dates are. And so, confirm diorang takkan bosan nye.

5. Rimas!!!
Kawan aku punye favourite word! This word is to describe guys yang terlalu clingy sangat! Macam suka nah membontot mane-mane girlfriend nak pergi. Abih nanti tanye berpuloh soalan tak tentu pasal; nak pergi mane lah, dengan sape lah, untuk ape lah, pukol brape lah….Ooh! Rimas!!! Eh…tak trust girlfriend ke?? Bagi lah dier sikit freedom nak bergaul, to have fun with friends, to go out…janganlah nak ikot aje! Learn to trust, that's the key.

6. Janganlah Romeo Sangat.
Romeo: EMO!!! Eh! Nonsense lah…sikit-sikit sedih, nak sendiri-sendiri, menangis, nak bunuh diri lah, ape ni?! Dah kene sampok ke?? Girls tak suke guys emotional sangat laa…tak serr ah gitu! They need protection, not give any! Ade time untuk ber-romantic, ade time for emo, ade time for fun and play! So, chill bro, suck it in and move on!

7. Please Know Where To Go On A Date (and don't be so cheap!)
“You nak gi mane? You nak makan mane? You nak tengok cerite ape?” Boring ah gini! Korang kan lelaki! Memang nak kene tau mane nak pergi sume! These days, guys are going like, ‘oh, I wanna find a girl who knows where to go and what to do on dates…blah blah blah…' Oh! Skarang dah pandai eh! Tolak-tolak kerje pat perempuan! Eh…gentleman ah sikit…girls don't wanna have to stress up and figure out where to go on dates…it's bad enough they always have to try and look their best so you guys don't take one look at them and run! Give them a break ok! And oh yea, please jangan kedekot sangat boleh tak! Don't go asking a girl out and then making her pay half of it the next day! If you're on a tight budget, then bring her to a place you can afford. Don't assume she's gonna pay half, cause for god's sakes, it's a date! Unless of course, she's totally cool about paying, then bro, you got yourself quite a catch! *wink wink*

8. Don't Comment On ‘Assets' On First Dates!
This is an absolute turn-off! Kenape mesti macam chi-ko-pek gitu ah, comment pasal perempuan nye tu sume?!?! Takde lain lagik yang nak cakap ke? Nak kene sepak, terajang, tumbok, tendang, pukol, bantai eh? My god, guys, please, you don't want to appear to the girl you're going out with as a pervert, right? If you feel the need to compliment her on something, talk about her hair or how pretty she looks in her new dress, or something like that lah…

9.Develop A Sense of Humour (if you dun have one.)
Girls like it funny! They wanna laugh and joke on dates. Jangan lah serious sangat baaang…If you are naturally not a very funny person, no worries! Pat Popular bookstore banyak buku Jokes and Riddles. They might not help much, but hey! At least you tried. And maybe if you tell the girl you pergi Popular Bookstore to carik buku to learn to be funny, chances are, she'll probably laugh her head off because of that.

10. Keep your hands to yourselves, until further notice
Jangan nak carik opportunity je k! Girls tend to be a little guarded when they go out on dates with guys they barely know. So don't pandai-pandai want to touch them here lah, there lah! Tapi, if you guys dah ok, dah mesra boleh chill together-gether…haah….tu korang nye pasal nak buat ape!

Well girls, I'm sure there are those of you who might need help as well. Maybe you could use some of these tips.

1. Be Opinionated
Guys like it when you've got your own things to say. Jangan lah orang tanye question, you just angguk-angguk je! Compete with them, make them see that you have your own opinions about the subject you guys are talking on. Tapi jangan lah controlling sangat. If you don't agree with what he is saying, politely state your view and move on to talk about other things. Kalau dier lak yang tak puas hati, abih nak cari pasal, just leave.

2. Don't Appear Too Easy
As much as guys love to see sexy girls, they would prefer if YOU (the girl they are seeing) do not dress too over. This makes them see you as different from all those sexy-dressing girls on the streets. Guys like individuality, show them some.

3. TALK!
TALK, GIRLS, TALK! Apparently, guys like girls who know how to talk! Ask him questions. Answer his questions with witty comments! Don't be too conscious of what you say or do. Keep him in suspense. Message him in the middle of the night and surprise him with things about you he didn't know about. Just be open! Think unique!

4. They Know You're Hot (so you don't have to keep talking about it.)
Why dwell on something they already know?? Kalau you have nothing to say to him except to tell him constantly that you are so hot and every guy wants you, then maybe Tip #3 isn't really for you. Find other topics. Cakap lah pasal kupu-kupu terbang ke, arnab lompat-lompat ke (see under the [GUY] section and read Tip #3)

5. Dah Melayu Tu, Buat Cara Melayu Lah
Believe it or not, guys hate it when perempuan Melayu step macam Orang Putih. No offence to chicks out there who were brought up by in an American surrounding and have somehow developed their accent. Those of you girls who unfortunately did not get to experience such pleasure, well, I think you should just quit acting like a Mat Saleh and be comfortable with who you really are. Guys are more comfortable opening up to girls who are comfortable with their own selves.

6. Pakai Baju Takmo Over Sangat
Guys get a little turned off when they see their date dress too overly, macam tak kene tempat ah. Simplicity is key. Unless you are dating some Tycoon and you nak kene dress nicely all the time, then tu lain cerite ah. But for those who likes to overdress or wear clothes that are too revealing, I think u have to be careful, your date might just not like what he sees.

7. Show That You Are Independent
Guys like to have the feeling that they are needed, for protection and other stuff. But they can only stand so much. Kalau you want him to stay by you, tunjuk dier yang you ni boleh jaga diri even without him around. Jangan selalu nakkan dier buatkan bende for you je. Once in a while, you have to stand on your own two feet and tell him that you can carry the shopping bags on your own. *unless of course they are very, very, very heavy lah.*

8. Loosen Up, Laugh A Little, Joke A Little
Eh, girls! Jangan lah serious sangat! Guys like to see the 'sotong' side of you. He wants to see you relaxed and completely unconscious of your surroundings. Tell him funny past experiences, things that will make him laugh. Joke with him. Play games. Make sure he stays interested.

9. Girls, If You Have A Boyfriend, Don't Go On Dates With Other Guys.
I know lah, ni sume, sape yang tak tau kan. But seriously, ade jugak wanita-wanita yang keluar ngan lelaki lain eventhough they have boyfriends. Kenape? Buat ape? Kalau ye pon, jangan lah tipu the guy, kesian that guy. He tak tentu pasal, tak tau lak you are attached, kene maki hamon dengan your boyfriend. Ish ish ish.

10. Nak Merajok Pon Ade Batasan Lah
Merajok skali. Cute.
Merajok dua kali. Boleh accept.
Merajok tiga kali. Boleh blah!
Haah! Girls you don't wanna get into a situation where the guy thinks you are such a Merajok Queen, sikit-sikit nye pasal nak merajok! If he says or do something wrong, stop him immediately and tell him how you feel. If you wait even a little while longer, you are definitely going to end up merajok-ing. Believe me!

Posted by Fr3aK[A]z0iD at 6:06 PM

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